Friday, March 6, 2009
anger & resentment..you name it.

Im torned to pieces i must admit.
its just unbelievable.
if i could only retreat from reality or better still from this world.
Am i to endure the pain?
Those who used to matter to me,were chucked aside because I
felt much more comfortable with you.Like you were all i needed.
Honestly,this feels like shit.I feel like shit.What you did yesterday
was not manly.I dare say it.

No matter how bad the argument was
(which on the contrary was a tineey wineey disagreement)you
should have stood your ground but nooo you had to walk out of it.
Its unfair because it seems like im trashing about
you.I want to fair it off with my doings too but i just cant seem to
dig out any wrong doings of mine here.Im unsure if i even did sth.
Or mybe i just didnt realize it.But staying out late is no crime to me.
As long as i behave right it wouldnt be a problem.

I dont do this often and sometimes i miss the life i used to have
You forgot something..You forgot that im still 17.The age range where
I will most likely experience more things.Your already 20 so i suggest
you start acting your age and respect the decisions I want to make.
Im no trouble maker and neither am i disobedient.So why is it so hard
for you to take the time to think about what i wanna do.

This is not a press conference and its just between us both.It should be
a breeze for you to think clearly.You said you wanted to protect my
image?I thank you for that but let me learn my own mistakes.
I dont want to feel fake because i know how real i am allright.
Anyway,there was no pressure when you were there but
you acted like you were carrying the whole world on your shoulders.
But on the spur of the moment when you left me,my heart stopped.
And i felt like crashing my whole face onto the concrete floor because
I could not believe you did that without even saying a word.

That just shows how little respect you have for me as a girlfriend.
Or mybe it was my fault because i was not playing the role of a strongheaded
girl in the relationship instead i kept on spoon feeding you.
No matter how hard i try,its never enough.
and whats more shocking is that,you didnt even check on me if i was home yet.

This is the first,usually you would..Something is just not right with the beautiful
picture we painted together.I dont know how or what to do to resolve the matter.
I dont expect you to be perfect,but i do expect you to be loyal and honest.
You should have went up to me and said that you felt like going home.
You left without even looking at my face,that was rude.
Were you even thinking at that point of time?
Shocked ?No words can describe the emotions im feeling now.
Dismissively you left,like as if you couldnt be bothered.

im glad my words hit hard on you this morning.It was supposed to.
You left me alone at the end of the day.
You made a mistake by doing so.
Like i said,its only the result that matters after every situation.
Not the situation itself.

i love you and i want to make this work.
but i sense that this is just the beginning of the struggle.
You play a part in it.We can make this better.We have to
fight the war in order to obtain victory.
dont give up just yet cause i'll be fighting every way i can to
keep this flame burning.


I FEEL TERRIBLE TODAY.GREAT.

lil leopard pawed by @ 3:21 PM
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