anyway im not as excited about the weekends as i thought i would be,weird.I just hope going out with my darling bestboyfriend would help cheer me up.If i even get out of the house that is.We planned to hit the ice field,ice skating of course.Been such a jolly long time since i went there but i doubt that will happen though.-_-'' happy weekends to all of you then.

if i could turn back time,i would.I want to show you how much you've changed since then,but i dont know how to.You've become a different person towards me,i swear.Before you'll regret,i'll pray that you'll realise soon enough.I know you know that only you can change your ways,nobody else can teach you how to.You act strong and powerful around others but your heart is weak crying for help on the other side.& im ashamed of myself because all i can do now is wait and do nothing.
- xoxo iloveu my sister.

Look around,the world is full of perplexities,puzzlements and peculiarities,all just begging to be explained.But what happens when the world runs out of answers,answers which will determine what we are going to prioritize in our future.Sometimes being a person is so confusing.Our minds like to ponder about things that are unecessary.Its sad to say though,because some of this unecessary thoughts will bother you,making you feel insecure and unreasonable.When human's start to be too observant,things might just go out of hand.Words will hurt and actions will make matters worst.I sometimes wish humans would be a little more thoughtful towards what they say about another because i believe in karma(what comes around,goes around).
And to me,karma is the most cruel punishment that exists.To discriminate others totally reflects on the type of person you are.Dont you realise that you're discriminating yourself too? :/
Its just pityful to think about what karma does to people like you and its even frightening when you try visualing.To every mean person out there, i hope u would take a step back to remind yourself about what life is really about so you could refrain from a cursed future.Good luck to those who insist on stubborness.Stop being so difficult.Its better to prevent than to risk.Start doing good,it'll help you people alot.Spiritually & mentally.Take late Mother teresa for example.Im sure she'll touch that cold blooded heart of yours.I'll leave you with one of her enlightening quotes.

" If you judge people,you will have no time to love them " - mother teresa

allright,this i got to bring up.What's wrong with people nowdays,please try to explain to me why the world's become so cruel out of a sudden.Every hardship now has been cramped into one big hideous black hole.Why does it have to be this way?do they even realise why you even dare to do what your not supposed to?Do they even think twice about what trouble it might get you into if you go against the rules?I know at some point it may seem like an excuse,but why do they have to just look down upon you thinking you were just putting false hope on them.Has it ever occured to you that I have tried doing everything just to make you happy.Its not that im bringing up the past,im just shocked at how low you've reacted to this.Your my everything and you know i would do anything to cater to your needs.I just hope this wont get in the way of our friendship.I know your going through alot right now.Your at this stage of life where you just want to give up and give your final fairwells to the world.Think,you know your stronger than this,you know your struggling at this moment.All you have to do is to gather up whats left of you to stand tall.This is just another stage of life,treat it like that.Do not be pyscho-ed by the words of fear.Let your emotions take control of itself rather than your mind.I know you can do it,dont let fear eat you up.Its hard,i understand but you cannot let it get to you.You know your gonna get through this shit and im gonna be there for you.Even if you do criticize me,do not for a meer second think that im giving up on you.Your my angel and you will always be.I need you to be strong.For the sake of yourself and me.These words might just seem normal to you but to me these words are from a friend who looks up to you and envy's you for the person you are.So be that person now and do not loose out to your own emotions.

"Being hurt by your love isnt
the same as getting hurt by someone you cant be with."
- shaheer

whyy ohh whyy i question myself.
The past will never stop haunting.It never fails to make us feel happy or sad about something.A mixture of both i suppose.This usually happens when you think about all the mistakes you've made and the people you've treated badly.When you realize its too late,you'll grief for a moment
thinking about how foolish you were to let go of a blessing which was in disguise all along.
Thats how people move on.Thats how life works.Thats why its so unfair.Thats the reason why love is never to be questioned because you'll never get any answers.Thats when you'll get stuck in your own world,finally realizing that life is way complicated than you thought it would be.

NenekkaunyeMotherfreakinlembulaaaaaEH?!

thats all i've got to say right now.
Yes my dad has officially CONFISICATED my cell.
Curse that autoroaming device.That thing just lures people into having the tendency to send msgs when your out of the country.It's partially my fault too
because i couldnt resist not to reply to any msgs i got
while i was in melaka a few weeks back.
now all that im left with to enjoy in this house of mine
is the rudeness of my good for nothing sister and my freestyle
rapper mum who wont stop nagging about the past.
Oh someone please save me.
- damsel in distress xoxo

This past week has been filled with nothing but awkward situations,heartbreaking ones too mybe.

Each time you deal with your frustrations,your supposed to feel better after that but why do some people feel like they've got thier life cursed due to thier own actions.
Was it wrong to act that way towards her?As a sister?As the one with the upper hand?
If it wasnt,why do i feel like the angels are pleading me guilty ?
I know i am no one to have done that,but if nobody's gonna care,why shouldnt i step in.
well wadever then,that was that.
i swear on my life what happened was never going to happen again and should never too.
it was just too bitter to take in.Im no rebel,Im no abuser.
I know im better than that and im gonna try all i can to fight fire with water.
all i know is that i love her too much to ever lay a hand on her again.
im sorry.
that was my thursday night.

SATURDAY :
its my day out,Keemy got out of camp,Q was headin out together with her cousin to meet us at Arab st.There was a launch for sub clothing there if i was not mistaken.
Keemy met me at choa chu kang around 7.Poor boy had to wait for me.(so the star karat i know)
but all's good cause he's gotten used to it.*laughs*
He was looking fly as usual but i was looking more attractive.ROFL.
We headed down to far east to get chippy's and ciggies.
we took a cab to arab st because Q was dying of boredom at the show.
The show was actually pretty dead because it wasnt the usual hiphop aura.This was at arab st where most of them are laid back dudes & dudettes.
Well it was a bummer because most of us were under 16.that was the first time they even asked for our iD.Like wtf.
Q suggested that we leave the idea of sheesha-ing and proceeded to do something even more exciting which was belly dancing.
i was jumping for joy when i heard that,keemy looked disappointed because we were gonna leave him alone to sheesha with his other mates but too bad cause girls gotta do what they do best.
It was extremely fun as we were shaking our big fat butts off.
The climax was when Q found a vengaboys cd.It was like caveman years ago when we last listened to that.It was a pretty joyful moment with zeeroc,nadia & my baby.
Q went off around 12,me and keemy met up with the boys for a lil while and then headed off to our usual hang out spot.
Updated him about what happened on thursday night and he had his own opinions about whatever i did.We almost got into a fight though,who ever said that bestfriends dont disagree.
Well,he's an elder brother,but a sister's love towards her siblings are way different but he understood what my intentions were towards the end of the conversation.
He always does,even if he gets on my nerves sometimes.He'll do anything to make me realise im actually living in the real world.
thats what bestfriends do and i love him for that.














Sunday :
Proceeded to keemy's house to visit his family for raya which ended up as a normal day out with them.Oh how much i missed you guys.I just cant express that in words.It was nice see-ing mama,hugged her.oh my she lost weight tremendously.Papa was being his usual cute self karaoke-ing with his two kids.Fakir was looking good.Cik chom..AHH cik chom..always cool in whatever she dresses herself in.Well,we headed to meet cik siti & cik hamid at thier mum's house.Then after the children were fast asleep the adults and the other YOUNG adults went to mustafa centre for a night out.We walked along the alley where they had the prostitutes and the gays.Most of us got excited,especially fakir & cik hamid.But not many of the doors were open because it was already pass thier bedtime.*laughs*
well mama wanted to go and munch on kebabs and where's the best place to get that ?
ARAB STREET.
and finally after what happened the day before we finally got to sheesha.Cik hamid & cik siti joined us though.fun nak mampos.
well,i slept over at keemy's place after that cause pak busu had an open house the day after.
plus i've not been sleeping there for quite awhile so i figured why not just spend the night.
Keemy kept bothering fakir about his weight that night.
Mean nak mampos,mentang2 dia da loose weight.
Well we decided to watch SUSUK.The movie was quite exciting.I loved the way they twisted the story board.Keemy & me finally slept around 7 am.

Monday :
pak busu's ! open house.He kept claiming i was ignorant because during the ramadhan season he saw me together with my mumzy at geylang and i didnt say hi to him.Of course la,he kept calling out FARA.WHO THE HELL IS FARA.lol.He forgot my name.see how much people miss me.Sampai terlupe name pon ader.tak glam tau tu.-_-''
anyway yeah met all the people that i havent seen lately goodness & cik sheila's quite a good cook after all.No wonder pak busu is always kecoh.too much protein has been digested into his red blood cells.*laughs*
keemy had to go back to camp and i was eager to get back home so that i could lay my fat ass on the most comfortable furniture on earth which is MY BED.
cik hamid sent me back home by his car.How nice.
Once i was infront of my doorstep i was excitedly searching for my key when i forgot i left it on my computer desk.I was like asdlifjitjeihtoajna !??!!!??
i felt like i was even dumber than dumb & dumber.ergh.
called mumzy up & asked her where she was.She went to grandma's with my siblings and said that she'll be home by 9.
and it was only 7.30 !
So i dragged myself down to lot 1 to indulge on my favourite desert,FRIED MARS BARS.
chippy's has now been stationed at lot 1 other than far east.
*jumps for joy*ok.so you better be prepared for a fatter looking syugah.
done.The minute my lil brother saw me.
He came running while shouting this...
KAKAK SITI !! I MISS YOUUUUUUUU !!
i was like..aww.For a moment there,it seemed to me that my little brother does really know how to make me feel better.He has never said that to me & when he actually did.I smiled like it was my very first smile to a baby.
he who appreciates me will always be loved for eternity.
got back home and threw myself in bed.home sweet home.
sigh.

TUESDAY :
i am supposed to be job hunting right now..tapi pantat amirah gatal sangat.
She forgot and went to east coast with her girlfriend.BOODOH !
so now im stuck at home getting nagged by my mum because my phone bill has exceeded its limits.Mybe she's taking it away.i have a feeling she will.Well whatever,i dont pay much attention to my fone anymore.So i told her why not.
carik pasal eh aku ni.Mak tengah marah aku punya pandai pegi jawab balik.
well,she knows i was just trying to be funny.
So yeah,she's prolly gonna CONFISICATE my phone.This is so awkward because its been ages since i used that word.
ok i better stop typing.this is one really longggggggggggggggggggggg post.